This Alcoholic Spends January 1 At The Gym

Two years ago, I realized I had a drinking problem. I was spinning my 10 year-old daughter around while she was on my shoulders, with one arm holding her legs and the other holding my holiday favorite – a nice glass of Southern Comfort. Thanks to her dear old Dad’s lack of balance, she ended up banging her hand on the wall. Her reaction as she giggled was: “Daddy, you drink too much”.

My reasons for drinking were probably not uncommon; it was an escape from reality; it was an escape from boredom; and it made a general feeling of disappointment briefly go away. Still, it was clear two years ago – just before New Year’s Day – I had to make a change.

In order to stop drinking permanently and keep a new year’s resolution, I needed an outlet that could fulfill the three needs that drew me toward alcohol and oddly enough, that outlet turned out to be exercise.

After a few trips to the gym, I realized that if I performed exercises that I liked, I was not bored. If I pushed my body to its limits, I could escape reality and, best of all, I found it difficult to feel a sense of disappointment after my blood pressure went from “high” to “normal” and I lost 6 inches on my waist with just a few months of replacing drinking with exercising.

The repetitive routine of drinking also seemed very similar to the repetitive routine of exercise.   In order to feel high from booze, I generally had to drink more and more just like when I try to lift a little more weight or run a little faster each time I exercise. My brain seems happy now and at 46 years of age, my body is in the best shape of its life.

Despite not drinking for the last two years and continuing to exercise four times a week, like many of you out there who have a drinking problem, I find the holidays are an especially difficult time. At this time of year, just about everywhere you look, there’s booze. The SAQs (facilities run by the government in Canada) are packed and open late for business, the grocery stores have cases of beer lined up as soon as you enter them, there are endless ads on television showing sexy people lubricated with alcohol and just about any party you attend at this time of year is filled with copious amounts of liquor.

Alcohol, if not promoted at this time of year, is certainly a more than socially acceptable way to get high and perhaps that needs to change.

Even if the time comes when booze ads are outlawed just as cigarette ads are, and we open our eyes and realize that nothing good ever came from drinking, I will continue to wake up early on January 1st each year and find a gym that’s open so I can feel good about myself instead of being hung-over.

I hope you start your New Year in a healthy and sober way.  Happy New Year to All.

We profiled Nathan Friedland of Montreal, Quebec, as a Spiritual Adrenaline Inspiration back in April 2016.

New Year’s Eve 2017:  A Happy, Healthy and Sober Year to Come….

New Year’s eve has arrived and I am actually looking forward to it.

That was not always true and I remember dreading New Year ’s Eve and the new year.  It got so bad that I would look in the mirror and ask myself: “How much worse is it going to get?”  It definitely got worse before it got better but now I am grateful for having gone through all of that. I remember to remember just how bad it sucked and because of those memories, New Year ’s Eve has taken on great import and significance in my recovery.  In fact, in ways I had not envision while sitting in the emergency room during active addiction or while in rehab in upstate New York in May 2012.

I wanted to share with you how I have celebrated the New Year for the last five years to enhance, rather than undercut, my recovery.

I live in midtown Manhattan, one block from Times Square, and have made a conscious decision to get out of town every New Year.   My neighborhood is insane and the morning after the sidewalks have puke and other garbage all over, remnants of the ball drop.  I did not enjoy New Year’s when I was drinking and even less now for obvious reasons.

My first year, I traveled up to Bar Harbor in Acadia National Park in northern Maine.  I had six months at that time and knew that Bar Harbor would be deserted for the New Year.  I journal relentlessly and brought my journals from rehab as well as the first six months with you and on the evening of December 31, I reviewed my journals and prepared a rather lengthy gratitude list for all the positive changes that had happened in my life in 2012.  I set goals and for the coming years in regard to my self care and financial amends.  I went to bed early and on January 1, 2013, headed to the top of Cadillac Mountain, the highest peak on the Eastern Seaboard, to see the first sunrise of the New Year.   It was an amazing way to reflect on the year that had just concluded and start the year to come.

Following that theme, each year I try to get out of New York and enjoy someplace quiet, off the beaten track, out in nature and away from the party scene that dominates on new year’s eve and day.  I have returned to a few times Acadia, spent the holiday on a silent retreat at a Buddhist monastery and once at the beach.   Every year I bring my journals beginning with my rehab journal and peruse the entries over the years.   Preparing a gratitude list has become an annual tradition and something I very much enjoy.     The most critical thing is to be up to see the very first sunrise of the year and recommit to living a healthy and sober lifestyle.

I would love to hear how you celebrate your recovery and the New Year.  Post a comment on Facebook or send an email to tom@shanahanalaw.com.

A Holiday Message From a Formerly Homeless Addict on the Importance of Relationships…

The Holidays bring up a lot of feelings in me. I see and hear how everyone is stressed about what to buy, cook, wear, see a relative they don’t like, etc. At times is seems that the holidays have become more commercial than actually about the holidays. All this has caused me, and others, to lose sight of what is truly important: Relationships.

What would we have in life if we did not have connection with others?

How would we feel if the ones whom have loved and supported us on our journey were not there?

The holidays are about honoring our relationships and sharing gratitude that we are all connected as human beings.

What It Was Like

Before I got sober I placed little value on my relationships. I was self-centered, stuck in an ego victim mindset and convinced that the world had somehow betrayed me. My only focus was drugs and getting as high as I could. I dreaded the holidays, the seasons changing to fall, the expectation of gifts and large parties I did not want to go to.

One Christmas eve I never made it home for family dinner because I was too high.   My family was furious and very concerned about me but I could have cared less…

What It Is Like Now

Sobriety has brought many things in to my life. Gifted me with strong spiritual experiences and helped me achieve success in pursuing my dreams.

But the biggest gift that sobriety has given me is my relationships.

During my using days I lost everyone, my family, friends, job, home, EVERYTHING.  By following a sober path and lifestyle, everything I lost has come back to me.

This holiday I share my extreme gratitude for life, connection and spirituality. I am honored to share in this journey we call life. Partake in deep connections to others, support my family, friends and community. I am grateful that I can contribute to making the world a better place simply by accepting everyone for who and what they far. I have learned to value the differences in everyone. Sobriety has shown me anything is possible if you truly believe it is.

On this holiday I am reminded that each relationship is a gift. We are a reflection of our loved ones, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.

 

We are all connected by the same universal source, some may call it love, some may call it god. Whatever it is, it joins us all together.

 

Let us honor and spread love to all on this beautiful holiday.

 

Josh V.

San Francisco, California

Sustainable Resolutions Guide – Start, and Maintain a Sober Year.

SUSTAINABLE RESOLUTIONS

FOR PEOPLE IN RECOVERY

According to Forbes Magazine, just 8% of people who make a resolution keep it.  Most, break their resolutions in the first two weeks of the New Year. Here is a list of the most popular resolutions for last year:

  • Lose weight
  • Get organized
  • Spend less, save more
  • Enjoy life to the fullest
  • Stay fit and healthy
  • Learn something exciting
  • Quit smoking
  • Help others achieve their dreams
  • Fall in love
  • Spend more time with family

Although these resolutions are based upon people in the general population, it is likely that many people in recovery share these goals.

So Why Do So Many People Fail?

The problem with these resolutions is they go to the end game without a strategy to get there.   In other words you really need to have a plan, both short-term and long-term, to lose weight and keep it off, quit smoking or stay fit and healthy.   Rather than have such broad and sweeping resolutions, what worked for me, and I think may work for you, is to have the long-term goal in mind, but break it down into manageable subgroups, and really focus on making progress, baby-step by baby-step.  By focusing on the micro-level and succeeding, we are better able to gain the self-confidence necessary to ultimately achieve our desired end result.  No coach goes into a game without a strategy and, given that your quality of life is at stake here, neither should you.

Recovery-Based Resolutions

The list of last year’s top ten resolutions involve a lot of issues we address at Spiritual Adrenaline: lose weight; stay fit and healthy; quit smoking; etc.  Rather than incredibly broad resolutions, I recommend breaking down your resolution into smaller, more realistic goals and doing everything possible to achieve this realistic resolution.  Once you achieve it, you can set another and keep going.

For example, if you are looking to quit smoking you need to develop a plan to address “triggers” that lead you to smoke.  For me, that was coming and going from buildings.  When I was about to enter or leave a building, I would chew a nicotine lozenge to avoid lighting up.   Once I broke the habit of smoking coming and going from buildings, then I addressed not smoking in my car, etc.   It was the smaller victories along the way that ultimately enabled me to quit smoking.   It all starts somewhere and the smaller victories along the way build the self-confidence needed to ultimately win the war.

In the movie “What About Bob,” Bill Murray repeated the mantra “baby steps” over and over.   In early recovery, I adopted that mantra for most things.  It was incredibly important for me to stop self-defeating and self-sabotage and instead focus on getting out of my own way and being my own best friend.

Here are some achievable resolutions that will enhance your recovery and can start you down the road toward major change.  I picked one for each of the major areas we focus on here at Spiritual Adrenaline.

Recovery Nutrition:

Replace processed sugar and sweeteners with a natural sweetener:   Diabetes and hyperglycemia are a major issue for people in recovery.  The percentage of people in recovery with these conditions is well above the general population; according to some studies, as high as 93%.  These conditions often make it much more challenging to stay sober as fluctuation in blood sugar levels dramatically alters mood and energy levels.  Moreover, many people in recovery, especially alcoholics, have compromised liver function.   If this applies to you, your liver may not be able to break down high-fructose corn syrup and other processed sweeteners.   High-fructose corn syrup is quite common, and often the main sweetener in candy, ice cream and many other products.   Over time, high-fructose corn syrup builds up in the liver causing a whole set of other health-related problems.   By replacing processed sweeteners with natural sweeteners, you take a major step forward in diet modification and a healthier you.

Recovery Exercise:

Walk At Least A Mile A Day:  Move a muscle, change a thought.  It is undisputed that cardiovascular exercise will help burn calories, help lower cholesterol levels, lower blood pressure and enhance production of brain chemicals and hormones that lift your mood.   A mile a day is not a long distance at all, and this resolution should be an easy lift for most folks.   It can also be the first step towards incorporating exercise into your daily routine, which is a must if we seek to enhance our changes of long-term success in recovery.   Once you get comfortable with the mile, you can always go a little further, and then a little further.  However, we all must start somewhere.

You can measure your mile the old-fashioned way, by actually measuring the length to and from certain locations or by driving the route ahead of time.  There are countless gadgets and apps that will do it for you.   So there is no reason not to give it a try.  For folks in recovery, this is a great time to meditate, go over a gratitude list in their head, call a loved one or just enjoy nature.  If you tend to isolate yourself and have a history of doing so while you were using, invite someone to join you.  Maybe you can walk to and from a meeting together.

For people trying to quit smoking, cardiovascular activity is of great importance.  Most people who smoke tend to engage in limited activity.  The longer you smoke, the less you tend to move, as even minimal movement can be challenging for a smoker, especially those with lung diseases or other smoking-related health issues.   When you engage in cardio, you force your lungs to work.   By doing this, you can feel the impact of smoking on your lungs and their ability to provide you with oxygen.    I can tell you this first hand because this was true for me.  After heavy cardio, I would have great difficulty breathing and my lungs hurt.  It convinced me that it was a behavior that could not continue. By incorporating exercise and proper nutrition into your lifestyle along with like-minded people (i.e., non-smokers), smoking becomes less and less acceptable and appealing.

Smoking Cessation:

Inventory The Times You Smoke and Make At Least One Change To Your Routine:  Sit down and figure out the times of day you smoke, and commit to erasing at least one. When I smoked, I was lighting up when I went in and out of buildings, hanging around the front of twelve-step meetings with the smoking crowd, in my car when I was driving, and in my apartment at night.  When I committed to stop, I changed the ways I went to and from work to avoid places where smokers congregated and where I traditionally lit up a cigarette. I changed my meetings, went later and/or left early to avoid smokers, pulled over as opposed to permitting myself to smoke in my car, and left my cigarettes in the mailbox at night so I did not have them available to smoke in my apartment.

Breaking these types of habits and routines in the context of smoking is huge.  The habits are what perpetuate the addiction.  By changing them, you change the neurological associations and cravings in your brain, and take a huge leap towards kicking the habit.    It all starts by inventorying your smoking and developing a battle plan.   One victory and change in the routine will give you the confidence to keep going and not give up.

Recovery Vitamins, Minerals and Hormones:

Eat Something Green Every Day:  It sounds so simple but you would be surprised how many people do not eat green vegetables on a daily basis.  Green leafy veggies are our best friends for so many reasons.  First, they are not carb-heavy vegetables, so if we are looking to lean down, they enhance that goal.  Second, they do not contain substances that convert to sugar or glucose in the digestion process.  This is incredibly important given the disproportionate number of people in recovery with diabetes and hyperglycemia.   Third, leafy green vegetables pack the most nutrients per calorie than any other food group.   Greens contain significant amounts of Vitamins A, C, E, K and several of the B vitamins.  In addition, they are rich in calcium, magnesium, iron and potassium.     As people in recovery, our bodies are often used to calorie-rich, nutrient-deficient foods, chief among them candy and alcohol.   The benefits of eating something green everyday will pay off exponentially as you will be restoring the building blocks necessary to meet your body’s needs and proper brain chemistry.

If you eat some greens every day, you won’t have to worry about the recommended servings per week, as you’ll easily exceed them.  In case you were wondering, the USDA recommends three servings of leafy greens each week.

Recovery Spirituality:

This is a tough category because the issue of “spirituality” is so subjective. So in this category I will give you three suggestions:

Establish A Morning Self-Care Practice:  How we start the day sets the tone for the rest of the day.  A morning self-care practice establishes you and your recovery as the priority and the absolute first thing that gets your attention in the morning.   This need not be a lengthy, highly formal practice.  Set aside 5 minutes every morning to reflect on gratitude, your goals for the day, or whatever else you would like to focus on.  Use this time to reflect inward, towards your soul, and be driven by your needs.  Not the needs of others, clients, significant others, family or any other person, place or thing.   Enjoy your 5 minutes of solitude and stay in gratitude.  A person who stays in gratitude will not drink or use drugs.

Journal About Your Feelings:  Feelings are not facts and putting them down in black and white is an incredibly powerful experience in many ways.  Oftentimes, when I write down how I am feeling, it makes it unmistakably clear that what is happening in my head is absolutely ridiculous.  By writing down my feelings or, as I sometimes refer to them – the “chaos in my head,” I gain perspective. Journaling also grounds me in reality, makes me think about how my brain processes people, places and things, and makes it easier to share with a sponsor or friend at a later time.   A journal need not be War and Peace, but rather a few sentences, at the beginning, during or end of the day.

Reach Out to Someone and Just Say Thanks or Hello:  Once a week, biweekly or monthly, chose someone who is important in your life, someone you have not connected with for a while, and say thanks or hello.   Let them know how and why they impacted your life and that you care about them.  These types of random acts of kindness will lift your spirit as well as that of the person to whom you are reaching out.   We are all so busy these days that often the only time we communicate with people we care about is when some terrible event happens, such as an unexpected death.  Have no regrets, seize the day and reach out and say thanks.

We wish you and your loved ones a happy, healthy and sober 2017.  We would love your feedback on this and other blogs.  Send an email or short video to blog@spiritualadrenaline.me.

10 Months, Nicotine Free – Jason Tells His Story Of Breaking Addiction.

As the holidays approach, I’m grateful to be just shy of 10 months nicotine-free. The fact that I didn’t give up trying to quit until the miracle finally happened is the best gift I could have given myself and the people who love me.

I started smoking in college in 1993, and started trying to quit a month or two later. Granted I wasn’t very motivated to stop as a 20-year-old student, but even then quitting was already beyond any strength or willpower I could muster.

I got a year and a half smoke-free at one point, about two years into recovery from alcoholism, but I never really applied 12-step principles to smoking and one night after a meeting I decided to bum “just one.” I barely thought twice about it. Just one turned into half a pack that night, and I bought my own pack the next day. For 12 more years I was a smoker who was always ‘just about to quit.’ There were periods when I gave up and resigned myself to my fate, but for the most part—to my credit—I kept trying.

Late last year I started going to the gym for the first time since I was in my twenties, and my 42-year-old smoker’s lungs and oxygen-starved muscles protested loudly.  A friend gave me a copy of Alan Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking, and I read it. At that point I realized what my blind spot had been—for so long I had considered myself a smoker who happened to be quitting, but I never did the same first step with regard to nicotine that had begun my freedom from alcohol.

At that point a number of changes in my thinking began to more closely reflect reality, which eased the quitting process for me:

 

I’m not a “smoker,” I’m a nicotine addict pure and simple. Words matter. As an active smoker I am constantly going through withdrawal and fending off the inevitable by picking up just one more cigarette. As long as I keep the obsession going that sometime I’ll beat the craving, no rational reasoning is likely to get me to stop. It will never be easier; it’s an addiction.

Quitting is 100% possible. People do it all the time. I’ve done it. Part of me endlessly debated whether I “could do it” – which for an addict is an easy out to keep smoking. Of course I could be a non-smoker – I did it every day of my life until I started smoking.

Withdrawal is temporary, will not kill me, and though it will make me a little crazy for a while, that’s OK.

Today, I feel healthier and younger than I’ve ever felt. My colleagues at work have noticed that I don’t smell as bad and am much more productive and focused. I’m downright athletic for the first time in my life, training for a Triathlon next year.

Most of all, I’m not thinking constantly about cigarettes—about when I’ll get my next fix, about the discomfort of physical craving, about how I wish I could sit and focus during after-dinner conversation or enjoy a lazy morning in bed on a cold winter day without having to go satisfy my addiction. They no longer control me as long as I don’t pick up the first one.

My First Sober Christmas

Diana R. of Maine celebrating the holidays

If you were to ask me what I thought my life would look like at 19 when I was 10 I would’ve probably said, having lots and lots of friends, my own car, in college, having fun and earning money. What I know now is that my dreams then, seemed so simple to accomplish, yet the smallest things nowadays are the hardest to achieve, especially for the young woman I am today who is an alcoholic and drug addict.

I brought myself to my rock bottom in high school and lost everything I had my senior year. My family disowned me, I ended up in jail, quit my job because of my use, and was hopping from couch to couch calling home wherever I laid my head. Woke up every morning wishing I hadn’t, contemplating who I was and who I wanted to become, but with no motivation or hope, all my fantasies of being happy was slowly diminishing by the day.

In May I was sent to a rehab facility for 6 months in Maine with 5 other girls. I struggled tremendously in the beginning, but I slowly came to my senses that I genuinely needed the help and there’s no other place I would be able to receive the support than where I was. By the middle of my stay, I was excelling in areas I never would’ve thought I would be able to prior to going there. I left with a clear mind and the real Diana that has been hidden for all this time.

Nowadays I am beyond grateful for life itself. I am grateful to wake up everyday sober and to have an opportunity to be reborn. The holidays are very special to me because it’s a time for celebration and love. Families come together, life is cherished, songs are sung, and this beautiful time of the year shows us what true appreciation for who we are as human beings walking this Earth. The last couple of years, the holidays have not been the best in my favor because of the poor decisions I was making that led to me spending most holidays alone. The excitement and joy that I obtain to be able to be in a loving home with wonderful people on such important dates fills my soul with nourishment to the point where it’s not even explainable.

I used to take life as a joke and have such low spirits to the point where nobody wanted to be around me. It took hard work and dedication to wanting to change, but it is absolutely possible to switch up thought processing. Yoga, cardio, weight lifting, meditation, art all play a huge part of my recovery. I am especially thankful to have these activities that I enjoy doing to be able to keep me sober and safe. It is so important to take care of the body because it is so precious.Spread acts of kindness during this season and the good that you put out, will certainly come back to you in a positive way. Love yourself and do things that make you happy and you yourself will see a difference. We are put on this planet to make a difference, each of us for different reasons, so go out and reach your fullest potential and show the world what you’re made of. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all, may peace and love fill your soul.

– Diana R.