My First Sober Christmas

Diana R. of Maine celebrating the holidays

If you were to ask me what I thought my life would look like at 19 when I was 10 I would’ve probably said, having lots and lots of friends, my own car, in college, having fun and earning money. What I know now is that my dreams then, seemed so simple to accomplish, yet the smallest things nowadays are the hardest to achieve, especially for the young woman I am today who is an alcoholic and drug addict.

I brought myself to my rock bottom in high school and lost everything I had my senior year. My family disowned me, I ended up in jail, quit my job because of my use, and was hopping from couch to couch calling home wherever I laid my head. Woke up every morning wishing I hadn’t, contemplating who I was and who I wanted to become, but with no motivation or hope, all my fantasies of being happy was slowly diminishing by the day.

In May I was sent to a rehab facility for 6 months in Maine with 5 other girls. I struggled tremendously in the beginning, but I slowly came to my senses that I genuinely needed the help and there’s no other place I would be able to receive the support than where I was. By the middle of my stay, I was excelling in areas I never would’ve thought I would be able to prior to going there. I left with a clear mind and the real Diana that has been hidden for all this time.

Nowadays I am beyond grateful for life itself. I am grateful to wake up everyday sober and to have an opportunity to be reborn. The holidays are very special to me because it’s a time for celebration and love. Families come together, life is cherished, songs are sung, and this beautiful time of the year shows us what true appreciation for who we are as human beings walking this Earth. The last couple of years, the holidays have not been the best in my favor because of the poor decisions I was making that led to me spending most holidays alone. The excitement and joy that I obtain to be able to be in a loving home with wonderful people on such important dates fills my soul with nourishment to the point where it’s not even explainable.

I used to take life as a joke and have such low spirits to the point where nobody wanted to be around me. It took hard work and dedication to wanting to change, but it is absolutely possible to switch up thought processing. Yoga, cardio, weight lifting, meditation, art all play a huge part of my recovery. I am especially thankful to have these activities that I enjoy doing to be able to keep me sober and safe. It is so important to take care of the body because it is so precious.Spread acts of kindness during this season and the good that you put out, will certainly come back to you in a positive way. Love yourself and do things that make you happy and you yourself will see a difference. We are put on this planet to make a difference, each of us for different reasons, so go out and reach your fullest potential and show the world what you’re made of. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all, may peace and love fill your soul.

– Diana R.

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